By George Seminara
Introduction: Way back at the beginning of my career, I had an uncle. Well, not a genetic uncle, but he was probably one of my mother's sister's boyfriends at some point, and he and his wife just became part of the family at another point. My uncle Joe Archer was the Prop Master on the television soap opera As the World Turns, which was filmed across the street from my first production company on East 44th Street in Manhattan. We would chat on the street occasionally, and he invited me up to his office one day.
It wasn't really an office in the traditional sense but it was more like a locked caged cell with a desk surrounded by what I can only describe as the realization of a stoner’s junk shop fantasy. It sat next to the wardrobe department. That was also a locked cage and virtually every outfit was chained to the clothing racks by bicycle locks. In looking around, I noticed that those two “offices” (Containing more pad locks than I had ever seen I guess some actors have sticky fingers!) His office was situated at the north side of donut of stage sets. On the south side was the lighting and Camera departments. Make-Up and the dressing rooms were on the floor above and there was a staircase that joined the two floors. Along the east and west sides were all the sets. The cameras were in the donut hole so that as each scene was needed they only had to pan or dolly over to the next “Location”.
At the studio, Joe Archer introduced me to a “Shemp" It was a clothing store mannequin, dressed in a wig, hat, and trench coat. Interestingly, it had no legs, it was held in place to the lower portion, which looked to be from a rolling chair, with C-Clamps. The dummy had arms and hands that he could pose, usually with a lit cigarette. The actor who was currently playing the villain on the show was often shot gazing menacingly at the leading actress from the woods outside of her home. Joe explained that the actor was also in a Broadway show, and they would use the 'Shemp' to replace him physically on set, and the editor would cut in the appropriate close-up of his face as needed. This unique use of 'Shemp' allowed the actor to shoot his last dialog shot and hit the subway, adding an interesting twist to the production process.
Why was it called a Shemp? (It will all make sense, eventually.)
The Life and Death and Rebirth and Death of Shemp
This story wouldn't be a cautionary tale if history afforded the Howard (Horwitz) family the same respect as the Barrymores. Who are the Howards? That's another problem. Perhaps the greatest threesome in show business history was the Three Stooges. I know in certain quarters, thems fighting words. The Marx Brothers are hilarious, but there are at least four and sometimes five. The Ritz Brothers are very funny, but they came at a time when that style of comedy was fading from the vanguard, and their test sample size was just too darn small. (Crosby, Hope, and Lamour? It’s a possibility, but no.)
Trust me, the Three Stooges are the greatest. At two corners of the triangle sit Moe (Moses) Howard, the cantankerous boss of the crew, and opposite the light-hearted, dim-witted, nearly indestructible Curly (Jerome) Howard, in the middle, frizzy-haired, non-relation, Larry Fine (Louis Feinberg). Larry is hard to describe in a few words, so I'm leaving him to some percolating future story. (it could also be that I have gas.) Moses, Jerome, and their older brother Samuel Horwitz saw entertainment as their way out of the poverty of their Brooklyn Neighborhood. (What!?! More Brooklyn?)
The elder Howards, Solomon and Jennie Horowitz, immigrated from Lithuania in the early 1890’s with one child, Benjamin, in tow. After acclimating themselves to America, the family settled into life in the fourth largest city in America. (Brooklyn!) They proceeded to pop out four more boys. Irving, Samuel, Moses, and Jerome! If their last name was Jackson, we can guess what they might have become. It couldn’t happen because Bennie and Ira chose to live relatively normal lives.
Initially, Moses and Samuel tried to break into show business over their father's protestations.
“Why can’t you just get a job like your brothers!”
Brooklyn was way better than Lithuania, but for the three brothers, Bensonhurst was pretty rough. In the summer of 1914, Shemp and Moe got a booking as part of a minstrel show on a Mississippi River Boat. As the show was called Howard and Howard—A Study in Black that may have been funny, But I don't know. (It was a long time ago, people!) Why black face? I don't know, but I have an inkling in those liberal days of racial segregation, antisemitism, and all that fun stuff; Jewish performers were often not allowed entry into the theater they were appearing in. Outside of New York State, 60% of American hotels in 1957 weren't just segregated, the hotels were also restricted. This meant the hotels would not accept Jews or Catholics. Boarding houses were worse. (In 1957, the Anti-Defamation League published the 60% figure as it was the first year they had solid data. The restriction was so widespread ten years earlier that polling was unnecessary, as it was assumed that hotels were segregated and/or restricted unless known otherwise or located in New York City. By 1964, that number dropped to 9.5%. The practice has mostly ended, not completely, but we are still getting there.
Literally, every Jewish Vaudevillian performed in black face at some point in their early career.
Moses and Samuel enjoyed it so much that they rejoined the act in the summer of 1915. They were getting to be old pros (19 and 23 years old, respectively) and managed to book themselves without make-up in land-based theaters. Their routine is lost to the comedy gods but judging from what we do know about the rest of their comedy, it probably involved a lot of arguing.
Note #1: The other two Howards, Curley and Moe, are technically stage names. Curley was so named because he was bald, and Moe was similar to Moses, but he preferred to be called Harry in his private life. Shemp was called Shemp because that's how his mother, Jennie, an immigrant from Lithuania, pronounced his name Sam.
Fun fact: Geddy Lee got his unique name from the way his mother Manya, a Polish immigrant, pronounced Gary. Those wacky Eastern Europeans! - I'm pretty sure even without the Schizm, Poland, and Lithuania are considered Eastern Europe. If I'm wrong, please let me know.
Moe and Shemp were the original stooges working with another Brooklynite, Ted Healy (via Texas). Their act went through a series of names: Ted Healy & His Racketeers, Ted Healy and his Southern Gentlemen, Ted Healy and His Three Lost Souls, and finally, Ted Healy and His Stooges. There were other stooges, but Shemp and Moe were the original Howard brother's Stooges. In Chicago, a Philadelphia-born comedic violinist, Larry Fine, joined the act as Shemp's future replacement. Eventually, Curley would replace Shemp, joining Moe and Larry as the Three Stooges, and they would make 90 shorts for Columbia.
It wasn't all skittles and beer. Curley suffered a series of debilitating strokes. By series, it's sad to say, but you can watch his physical decline over a series of shorts from 1944's Idle Roomers to 1947's Half Wits Holiday. His singsong voice becomes coarse, and his dancer's physicality is gone. (Hey, like Christopher Walken, Jerome Howard was an accomplished ballroom dancer! and their movements are a key part of their unique performance style.) Columbia boss Harry Cohn refused to slow the pace of the Stooge's output, and Columbia literally worked Curley to death.
Meanwhile, Shemp has become an in-demand character actor. He's big-time, working with everyone from W.C. Fields to John Wayne, Abbott and Costello to Olsen and Johnson, Fatty Arbuckle to Marlene Dietrich! But when the family called, he answered and rejoined the Stooges. A new golden age was born. For a certain subset of people on this planet who have a preference for the Stooge films with Curley, there is another subset that believes the Stooges didn't achieve art until Shemp arrived on the scene.
I myself am Bi-stooge-ual. Because I value both of their contributions equally. (Don't get me started on Joe DeRita!)
With Shemp's return, the Trio were honoring their contracted eight shorts a year. He appeared in 78 films before tragedy struck the Stooges again! On November 22, 1955, Shemp went out with a couple of pals to a boxing match at the Hollywood Legion Hall. Shemp was a huge fan of the sweet science. I guess I can see why he'd enjoy watching other people beat the crap out of each other. While traveling home in a taxi, Shemp suffered a massive heart attack. Samuel (Shemp) Horwitz (Howard) was dead at the age of 60.
Here's where it gets dicey: Columbia promised exhibitors eight Three Stooges comedies for 1956 as they always had. At the time of his death, only four were shot. Columbia Pictures worked Curley to death. Did you honestly think that they would allow Shemp's demise to halt production? To fulfill their contract, Stooge producer Jules White filmed four more shorts posthumously by reusing old footage of Shemp, mostly in close-ups with new scenes played by body double and longtime Stooge supporting actor Joe Palma. This practice came to be known in the industry as a Shemp. Or a "Fake Shemp" is what director Sam Raimi (Dr. Strange, the Evil Dead films and the Toby McGuire Spider-Man movies) calls it anytime a body double replaces an actor or any such shenanigans. (I told you I'd get there.)
Hold the Presses!
You know this is your lucky day. My pal, Burt has just written the ultimate treatise on all things Shemp! Burt, is a superstar journalist, producer, director, and author: Burt Kearns. If you don’t know the name, you will by the time I get done with it. According to Burt, this is what’s what:
#1 Shemp! Excerpt from Chapter 25: The Death of Shemp
‘The four short subjects that came to be known as the “Fake Shemp” comedies are not as abhorrent as history would have them. Each film is in the sixteen-minute range and basically a reworking of a past Three Stooges comedy from 1949. Each short is full of stock footage, with the addition of a few new scenes shot in a single day in January 1956. Joe Palma shows up in a scene or two, shot from behind, with his hair combed down on the sides in an approximation of Shemp’s center-parted grease mop and often hunched over. He is used only briefly to fill in continuity gaps. He is not running through entire comedies doing a Shemp imitation. That said, the brief moments in which he does appear are obvious and laughable for the wrong reasons. When he attempts to ape Shemp, it can be painful to watch.’
Not to be rude to our guest, but in my opinion, the films stink. They are in order: Rumpus in the Harem, Hot Stuff, Commotion on the Ocean, and Scheming Schemers, which, according to people who have studied the oeuvre, is the best of these fake Shemp films. All of them were released in 1956. And since I actually have an expert here, take it away Burt Kearns!
#2 Shemp! Excerpt from Chapter 25: The Death of Shemp
‘On January 10, 1956, Moe and Larry and “Fake Shemp” shot scenes for Rumpus in Harem, a retooling of Malice in the Palace. Joe Palma has his back to the camera in a couple of Stooge huddles (in one scene, Palma’s face can be seen for a split second when the image is frozen in video or digital formats). In a chase scene in which the Three Stooges are dressed, inexplicably, in Santa Claus outfits, Palma doubles for Shemp. Shemp’s actual voice is dubbed in, crying, “Wha-Moe! Moe, Larry! Heebeebeebeebee! Moe! Help! Heebeebeebeebee! Moe! Help!” as Palma runs by.’
See, it’s good to have a bonafide expert on these things.
#3 Shemp! Excerpt from Chapter 25: The Death of Shemp
‘The following day, January 11, Palma must have been feeling his oats. In Hot Stuff, a remake of Fuelin’ Around, he actually attempts to imitate Shemp’s voice. As undercover agents disguised with fake beards, the trio are in an office hallway. In the opening moments, Palma actually looks toward the camera, so the deception is obvious before he turns his back to the camera, bending over to peep through a keyhole. “Boys,” Moe says,“we gotta be careful to make sure nobody followed us.” Palma barks, “Right!” A woman passes through. “Shemp,” says Moe, “that dame looks suspicious, you better follow her.” “Right!” Palma repeats and exits, back to camera, with an exaggerated Groucho lope. Later in the short, again with his back to camera, Palma flaps his elbows and emits a “Heebeebeebee!”before making a crab-walking exit that is almost deliberately not Shemp.
You can learn a lot by reading It Came from Hollywood in all its formats. Maybe too much. That's not a critique, that's a promise!
#4 Shemp! Excerpt from Chapter 25: The Death of Shemp
‘When the production team got back to work the following Monday, January 16, there may have been some discussion about Palma’s emoting. Scheming Schemers was a rejigging of Vagabond Loafers (a remake of 1940’s A Plumbing We Will Go). There is a brief scene in which Palma’s face is shielded by a collection of pipes and a tool bag he’s carrying, while Shemp’s voice is again dubbed: “Hold yer horses, will ya?” But Scheming Schemers is less offensive for Palma’s role than the closing line recited by Moe Howard.
As Moe and Larry Fine stand covered in custard from a (stock footage) pie fight, he says, “Hey, where is that puddin’ head Shemp?” Moe and Larry then tilt their heads and look heavenward. Cut to Shemp, trapped in his maze in the bathtub, a metaphor if there ever was one.
By the following day, when scenes were filmed for Commotion on the Ocean, someone may have put his foot down. The remix of Dunked in the Deep (with some additional footage from the 1948 short Crime on Their Hands) shows Palma’s back passing behind Larry and Moe during part of a conversation that’s mixed into stock footage. Somewhat fittingly, the working title for this short was Salt Water Daffy, which was also the name of Shemp’s Vitaphone film from 1933, his solo screen debut.
The filming of those shorts was not the first time a double had been used to stand in for a deceased or otherwise unavailable actor, but the term “Fake Shemp” became industry slang for the practice thanks to Sam Raimi, the director, producer, and Three Stooges fan. The pioneering horror filmmaker came up with the term in his early days, making Super 8 movies in the 1970s, and popularized “fake Shemps” after long production delays on his 1981 horror film The Evil Dead forced him, actor Bruce Campbell, and others in the crew to stand in for performers who were no longer on location. Raimi made it a tradition. The credit roll for his 1992 film Army of Darkness lists sixteen “Fake Shemps” amongst the cast.’
See how much your faithful Cinema Uncle George cares for you? I have brought in an expert to put you kids on the right foot. Keep reading and I’ll give you some more love for Mr. K.
A year later, when it was time to renew the Stooges's contract, Columbia hired comedian Joe Besser to replace Shemp. That alliance would only last a year as the studio stopped filming new Stooge short subject comedies in December of 1957.
The Fake Shemp was a satisfactory solution to a problem. Another tool in your tool kit. But if you think about it, it could cause some moral dilemmas. Kind of like the thorny issue of A.I. but in an entirely low-tech way. It works, right? Lets not beat around the bush. It's a new toy that solves many problems, especially for reshoots and establishing shots. It's also great for the stand-in who gets extra work days on set. To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever successfully made a film cobbling a complete performance without the actor being present at some point in the production.
A few terms and explainations:
Stand-in: A person who is the actor's approximate size, weight, and hair color. He/She is in an identical costume and stands on the set to aid in lighting and blocking. As a bonus, the stand-in will sometimes explain the blocking to the actor. The stand-in then leaves the actor to do the heavy lifting and gets coffee.
Not a Fake Shemp.
Hand or Foot Model: Exactly as it sounds. Let's say an actor thought tattooing his hands was a good idea. He was cast as a concert violinist in the seventeenth century. His hands are the romantic focus of the corseted ladies of the court. Make-up won't hide it in a close-up. Get a hand model to do the work. Or the actor is obsessed with the librarian's snappy sandals. The actress librarian is very touchy about shots of her gnarly pinkie toe. Cue the foot model.
Not a Fake Shemp.
Stunt Doubles (or Players or Stunt people) perform the often-dangerous actions that a character would find themselves in. I have worked on sets where the stunt player actually did the walking for the actor, and after he sat down, the close-up would feature the actor—
Also, not a Shemp.
Whatever Ridley Scott did to drop Christopher Plummer into an already-completed film is a miracle of technology. Somehow, they completely removed Kevin Spacey, even in scenes with other actors, from All the Money in the World. From what I understand, he shot Plummer on a green screen and made it so.
But not a Shemp.
Fake Shemp or just Shemp: Is someone, or a rolling mannequin, but usually a stand-in, who appears in a film in costume, under make-up, filmed from the back, or perhaps only the side, or just an arm or a foot. It's perfectly legit, in most cases, to use a Shemp. Director Ed Wood unwittingly used a Shemp when Bela Lugosi died during pre-production of Plan Nine from Outer Space. Thinking quickly, he drafted his dentist into the film as Lugosi's Shemp. It's perfectly fine if you need a shot you don't have after the actors are released or dead, and you use a Shemp or two.
Re-casting roles for a sequel happens all the time. After Richard Harris kicked the bucket, Michael Gambon took up the wand as Professor Dumbledore in the "Harry Potter" films. Don Cheadle replaced Terrence Howard as Colonel James (Rhodey) Rhodes in "Iron Man 2." And in "Back to the Future Part II," actress Claudia Wells was unavailable to play Jennifer Parker because of a family emergency, so Elizabeth Shue was now Jennifer.
The most egregious use of a Fake Shemp is in that second Back to the Future movie. When Crispin Hellion Glover decided not to reprise the part of George McFly for the sequel to the smash hit Back to the Future, he assumed some other strange skinny actor would take his place. Not so fast, Crisps; that's not what they decided to do. The producers initially wanted to kill off George McFly for the sequel, but that doesn't work for a fun-filled comedy. Then Crispin thought he might return, and they came up with the idea that George McFly had a bad back and would be hanging upside down from gravity boots for the whole movie. The disappointed Crispin had better things to do.
Somehow after some waffling and a nasty bump on the noggin from falling out of the gravity boots, Crispin finally said no, Robert Zemeckis got a brain fart. He returned to the footage from the first movie featuring Glover and pulled out footage of alternate takes, deleted scenes, and anything else they had with Crispin in it. Whenever a movie needs to age a character or give them a big nose or whatever, they make a plaster mold of the actor's face so they can build the prosthetics on the casting rather than having to pay the actor sit in the make-up chair for three months. The molds used to create the old George McFly make-up were in storage.
Zemeckis and Producer Bob Gale brought in actor Jeffrey Weissman to wear those prosthetic pieces. This went beyond the everyday stand-in work Weissman thought he was being hired for. Jeffrey Weissman was turned into a Fake Shemp the second they placed Crispin Glover's prosthetics on his face. Weissman wouldn't only be portraying the 1955 version of George McFly and the 1985 version, but also the 2015 version of George, the problem was that Weissman would be playing Crispin Glover playing all those other Georges!!! Holy Crap!
Back To the Future Part 2 was a technological marvel that used digital compositing, computer-aided camera movement (Vista Glide), Holography, Computer graphics, and the kitchen sink. It's incredible. As Zemeckis had already bitten off a bunch of unproven filmmaking techniques, why not try to make one actor appear to be another? They had a mold of Crispin's whole damn head! The producers had prosthetics for everything. The film's make-up artists recreated Glover's chin, nose, and cheekbones as appliques. Once the appliques got slapped onto Jeffrey Weissman, he could almost pass for Glover. Or his brother.
To properly utilize the Fake Shemp in its full glory, Zemeckis placed him in the background rather than the foreground, having him wear sunglasses or hanging him upside down taking the focus off The Frankenstein’s Shemp!. That Robert Zemeckis is an evil genius. But that doesn't make what he did right.
What the producers should have done was re-cast the damn role! Denzel Washington was available. That man can play anything! If they had done that, no harm, no foul. (I don't want to get off track here, but BTTF 2 was produced during Tom Cruise's campaign to win an Oscar. To me, nothing says Oscar more than the idea of Tom Cruise performing as Crispin Glover acting the part of George McFly. Man, a missed opportunity. Not!) And So Crispin Hellion Glover Cried havoc and let loose the hounds of war! His crack legal team fell upon Universal Studios, the producers of "Back to the Future," including Robert Zemeckis, Bob Gale, and Steven Spielberg, like a pack of wolves on an injured Bambi.
Glover had cause to sue because Back To The Future productions and its producers neither owned his likeness nor had permission to use it. As a result of the suit, there are now clauses in the Screen Actors Guild collective bargaining agreements stating that producers and actors are not allowed to use such methods to reproduce the likeness of one actor by use of other actors with out consent.
Crispin Glover's legal action, while financially resolved outside of the courts, has been considered a keystone case in likeness and personality rights for actors with increasing use of improved special effects and digital techniques, in which actors may have agreed to appear one part of a production but not to have their likenesses be used in another without their agreement. Not to mention A-i, yi, yi! Yikes.
However, the fake Shemp is not dead and can still be used in filmed productions if it isn't designed to replace the actor completely. I have been putting a fake Shemp in my bed every night for the last week after my spousal unit hits the hay. How else could I find the time to write these articles?
The practice of using a fake Shemp in bed is potentially a little kinky, but the Screen Actors Guild is otherwise perfectly okay with it.
Here are some fun facts about Burt Kearns:
Burt has written about pop culture in a for a well over a decade for a very diverse set of clients from Spin Magazine to Legs McNeil’s Please Kill Me.com. (Legs is a co-founder of Punk Magazine) He has directed and produced documentaries; he might be one of the guys to blame for tabloid television. But deep down I know he is just like me. A guy how loves movies, music, and a good story. Speaking of a good story his documentary, The Seventh Python is excellent, it gives us insight into Bonzo Dog Band and Python collaborator, Neil Innes.
Burt Kearns's writes a kick-ass biographies! Lawrence Tierney: Hollywood's Real-Life Tough Guy was published just in time for Christmas a couple of years ago by the University Press of Kentucky. Oh - My - God is this book great! Lawrence Tierney is a legendary troublemaker and Hollywood tough guy. This guy was great at being bad and acting bad, but not in a bad way. He was scary. And in real life he was scary too.
A few years back, for some other blog, somewhere in the dark recesses, I wrote, "Burt Kearns biography of Lawrence Tierney peels back the layers of one of the movie toughest bad guys only to find more onion. As much as he would disdain the tough guys he would cast as, he really was one of those bad guys. Kearns’ has the full measure of the man and holds his own. A great read.”
The one time I met Tierney I asked the producer if he was insane, and the producer responded, "Probably." Kearns's book is what all Hollywood biographies aspire to, but fail, Lawrence Tierney: Hollywood's Real-Life Tough Guy leaves one feeling a little punchy, a little hung over, and a little Lawrence Tierney.
Burt Followed that up with Marlon Brando: Hollywood Rebel, which was just published on April 2, 2024, by Applause Theatre & Cinema Books! It’s a fresh look at Brando’s mythic impact on our society. It’s been on my side table since the beginning of the summer,(I’ll get to it!)
Stand Back folks! In barely a month from now, Applause will publish Burt Kearns's next book, Shemp! The Biography of the Three Stooges' Shemp Howard, The Face of Film Comedy, on October 1, 2024. Get in line! Get in Line! Everyone can get a copy at the same venues where you buy the It Came From Hollywood Journal and all our wacky Novelizations. You know the usual suspects, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Books-a-million and all the coolest book shops across the fifty states, England and Italy! Enjoy!
If all that Shemp wasn't enough for you, cartoonist Drew Friedman, the Grand Poo-Bah of the Church of Shemp (and pal of ICFH ), provides the forward! Will the riches never end?
Special thanks to Burt Kearns, my long-suffering editor Robert Freese, and, of course, Shemp!
(Drew Friedman contributed to my August 31, 2022, blog post, Tor Johnson Not of This World)
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